i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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