Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize