Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The dick lei will go down in squad history
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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