I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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