You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
