Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize