Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
