I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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