question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
