They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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