I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
how does that bad decision feel?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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