dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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