I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
