I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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