That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
