Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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