did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
