I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize