I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
