I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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