my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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