I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
