The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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