He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
