I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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