I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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