we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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