Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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