i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
