"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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