The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
