So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
