I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
