From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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