I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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