Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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