now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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