How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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