Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
