You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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