Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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