don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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