also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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