So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
