Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
