now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
