i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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