I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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