i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize