i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
