It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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