Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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