she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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