Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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