ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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