Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
