i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
