well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this just has baby written all over it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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