I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
