i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
