just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
