i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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