I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
