Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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