When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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