theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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