he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let's get the cat blown out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
