Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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