Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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