I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
