i think i have herpe
just one?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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