Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
